My ring.

i left the house this morning, brushed my hair in the car, and tie the laces of my shoes while waiting for the bus, it was until i was doing nothing sitting in the bus that i realize it was gone.

Took my ring the night before to wash a shirt for kid uniform, but while doing so i was so sleepy went straight to bed, and forgot to put it back on, next morning before taking my shower i realize was gone, but forgot to put it back before leaving the house. Needless to say i felt naked all day.

It is not anymore about what the ring represents itself, is more like an extension of you but on me, hard to explain, but the feeling is there, the memory, every time i see it sitting in my finger i think of what you say, when i took it from that Christmas tree and opened the box, "Now you belong to me" i smile and went to the couch so i could kiss your pink smiley face.

The black jew.

-He is a Jew

-No he is not,

-Yes he is he told me

-hell he also said he was black and I just see him "prieto"

-and he is 24

-nah have you seen him? At least 27.

I made a bet with Marie and Jerry, ask the trainer to go to the bathroom and instead looked for you.

-let me see your ID

-no

-c'mon I need to see it~made a pouty voice and face~

- I am 24 you don't need my ID

-YES! I do let me see it.

-what is on it for me?

- you will be making me happy?

- no really what's on it for me?

- I may do something you want that is not nasty?

- ok

he handed the ID in fact he is 24 years old, his last name "Cortez" sounds very Spanish I point and ask.

-didn't you say you were a "jew"

-YES I am

- your last name doesn't agree.

(After the world war 2 the Jews that came to Mexico as refugees took names that ended in es and change the end to ez first to disguise along Mexicans second to still be able to identify themselves with other family's" he explains.)

-ok I am not satisfied nor I believe you but I've got to go.

Back at training room I confirm he is 24 and Jew, I still have my doubts but as the good friend I am I accept it since now I have new ideas to "bully" him.

At lunch time I am just talking about the so many ways you are not a jew listing them as for the regular clitches.

-your nose is not big enough, don't have curly hair, your beard is short, you don't wear the tiny hat, you are poor as fuck, don't speak Hebrew, you are a God damn regular Mexican I say.

-it is because from my mother side we are descendant of black slaves.

- yup definitely average Mexican (being that Mexicans are mix of Spanish with the Indians that where here when they came)

-no I am black from the waist down. (You said winking)

-your away, you most have a tiny one.

The brunnete

I was taking calls as usually when I saw you standing next to me, with a blank face you didn't looked like crying but I felt you were about made a gesture of give me one minute, placed myself in after call and finished my call.

-what is wrong?

-my wife has "brown hair" 

-what! 

- yah, she uses dye but keeps coming back, the hair stylist says she might be brunnete for good

Logged out of the avaya and went to the living

-Kimmy knows? How long? Which type of brunette? Will you divorce after this? 

 I hugged you and asked what would you do I was almost speechless at this point. 

-I don't know I can't divorce her like this, would be humiliatingfor her, and she is the mother of my child!

-you can absolutely divorce her if that is what will make you happy, I know is easy to say, hard to hear and impossible to do, but is not good for her you or the kid to stay together if y'all don't love each other, just support her with her condition maybe look for another expert.

-yes I know but I don't know what to do all the women in my life, have bad shit happen to them. 

Your mom never lost the baby fat and your wife turned out to be brunette 

-could be worst, she could of turn out to be vegan or enjoy CrossFit.

Your laughter between tears and the worried face you had told me you needed  his and to not leave you alone.

The three of us left at 3 pm that day.

You guys were so amazed of the way I lied to my mother, and you yes you were shocked when I told my mother "yah his wife is brunette and he can't divorce her now. "

Her answer was same as mine.

-now I understand why you are the way you are.

You were a drunken virgin, and Kimmy and i could not leave you like that, not in a day like this!
Went to the store bought beer, i didn't drink, you both did,(today is the day day you swear, you weren't drunk, and i dont think it really matters). I am not sure who decided it was hungry, so you guys went to the store to buy bread while i cooked the hamburger. Apparently Kimmy forgot how to run, in the way back home, (i was just a bit tipsy she says)
-Lets see who get there first!
-No, Kimmy...
-OUCH!!



Yes she fell at the middle of the road, with NOTHING on her way that may have caused the fall, nothing to stubble upon, nothing to trip with. When Raed ran to help her get up, his ankle said "back off bastard" as he felt how it sprained. He limped for a month but AGAIN he wasn't drunk.

So much for nothing she left you that night.

Whores

My favorite songs are always whore related, weird because I get easily offended by genres that sing about them, but my favorite songs are not as explicit is more like disguise inside the poetry of said songs so much that if you don't pay attention you miss it.

Words like " that if the son of a God once he saw her it went with her" make u think of everything but a whore, and talks about Mary Magdalene.

Melody that takes you to a sweet place to listen this love song talking about the teacher having sex with a student, or fairies at night, witches a day, that's pure art.

Empty

Some days is just too much, others i am empty.

First thing I usually do when I wake up would be grab my phone and look for messages from my fiance, usually there is none. Which in most occasions makes me sad, others I feel nothing.

When there is a message, it always makes​ my day.

I use to say I loved him too much, "if you think you love me too much, then you don't love me at all" he would say back at me. I still believe that, just don't say it anymore.

I decided not to message him until he messages me, every time I do that, there he is in the first 24 hrs always makes the rest of my week.

I'm told that I am wrong because I base my happiness in somebody else, I believe as long as I base it in the people I love and loves me back it is not wrong is optimistic.

When I think about the times when I needed somebody the most, they usually weren't there, to be fare I never asked them to be there.

Married at 15 never had the chance to get to know myself what I like and what I don't. Still empty at 27 trying to figure out what I want and what I don't, what I am good at, I do know what I suck at.

Is on of those things that backfire at you when make hard decisions as a teen, because you never all the things that you need to do. Like music, movies, angry drawings/writing. You miss out going trough the phases. Emo, country, rock, pothead, skater, popular, underdog, jog, artist, miss out on the most beautiful part of you, the only time in your life when it will be ok to be selfish, rant and whine and simply make mistakes just because you are young and still learning. So somebody lets you make the decision of having a baby or get married and automatically already skipped that place and time and have to grow up work and take care of a house and a men, babies if you are the woman. As for men you go from having mom doing everything for you to take care of the expenses and support of other people. Yes can't be selfish anymore. There is now somebody that you have to take care of, regardless of how tired you are.

The sardine bus.

If you have ever been on a bus so crowded people are standing also in the stairs, to get up then and only then you may know my frustration of today. 

After a happy day at work, yes happy and work I put them in the same sentence, yes a little bit crazy over here. Any how after a long happy day at work I left the office went to a close convenience store and got a sandwich and bottle of water, then headed to the bus stop...

Let's say I should've eaten my sandwich while I was waiting,

The bus wasn't just full it was like a freaking can of sardine's, I didn't realize until I had paid and would not bein able to get my money back, otherwise I would of waited for the next.

The bus driver kept stopping and letting people get in... He has his own seat... Ass.

As I am standing here having trouble to eat my sandwich my best friend decides to text me, that would be fine if I wasn't stupid enough to set a song as the ringtone for text messages. Not only the message came and "hedeegard" of  Luke Graham starts playing also "peces de ciudad" (city fishes) of Joaquin Sabina, stays playing, can you imagine the sound of 2 songs not only that but 2 different languages in your ears as loud as it can be, while I am holding the water bottle and pushing the fucking sandwich in my mouth all at once so I can stop, it was painfully, I DO NOT ADVISE to do this.

Anyhow bus emptied a block before my stop.

Karma! I should of give my seat to that old guy a week ago, fuck equality and femi Nazis I want to live in the 70s again (mannerly wise).

Mrs Kirby.

The first day of training she looked at me roll her eyes and i knew it right there, we would be best friends or would hate each other. The day went by and she was annoying, seemed to be funny the day of the interviews talking to her friends, why was such a pain now?

I was happy next couple of days didn't saw her, then someone said she had an accident and i could only hope she was fine, but God it was so good being there without her attitude. She came back with a bolster, by then i had already figured i would not be friends with anybody in the room, wasn't that interested anyway.

Keryme started talking to me out of nothing, went and sit with me, grabbed my notebook and start drawing a tree, I was happy of somewhat having her in my corner at same time was thinking, "great she can draw too." Wasn't just good at all the things i thought i was good at, also in the ones i always wanted to be and never could. Being mean and rude, speaking her mind she had made maybe not friends but people liked her, all i did was be nice to everyone and they all hated me. This is everything is wrong in this world right here in this room i thought.

She would not stop talking to me, and i am way too nice to be rude at her so we spend allot of time together, honestly is the last thing i want but at same time, i hate being on my own so... She is not so bad, so i add her to Facebook, big mistake. It makes me think about the days when I use to play online and so many guys would look for my approval, again she is so much better than me at everything... One afternoon going through my wall, what is this? She posted a picture of random conversation with a guy offering to buy her a car, if she goes out with him, and it says "some people just try too hard" out of nothing it pisses me off, whether is true or not if you are having a conversation with someone, just dont go and post it where everyone will see it, what if did the same to you? Would you find it funny then?


There is times when as much as it annoys me can be funny, Ernesto has a thing for her and her Asian looking kid, she keeps saying "moshi moshi" and makes this silly face where she says it and sort of keeps air inside her mouth making her cheeks look like little balloons with her hands near her chin, it looks so cute when she does that, she reminds me of Kirby, we had to go for a break and i told her in the elevator she looked like Kirby and her new name would be Mses Kirby, she got angry at me because apparently she hates pink which she has say before in the room and she feels he is really fat, "too bad" i said i think he is cute and you look like it when doing that noise and making that face so i shall call you Mrs Kirby till i get tired of it "ok ma'am" touche bitch, game on i said to myself.

I think it is more than i need to say, that this wont be the only entry about the now so called "my best friend", it is a funny story too long to tell at once, so keep reading i promise she will make you fall for her, because as i tell everyone in our life, she has the sleeping beauty curse burden, with the irony she has insomnia.