Sunday, July 2, 2017

he wasn't a tyran, she wasn't a door mat

It was during the struggle of not having money to feed the kids, and not being able to clothe them that it was the most difficult times for them, a good marriage is suppose to survive the bad to enjoy the good, they didn't.

Its not that it wasn't a good marriage, it wasn't lack of love, definitely not lack of sex or communication, felt more like it wasn't meant to be, the more they fought for it, the further apart they drift from each other.

After all the fights that came with the lack of money and the cheating from his side, her heart was weak and day b day going weaker, she didn't loved him anymore, but was too scared to leave, the idea of been alone terrified her. Even more than staying with him. the abuse wasn't too bad, “I’m sure there is who has it worst than me, i earn that slap, i shouldn't have put so much salt on the food, i shouldn't have talk back at him”, she said while cleaning herself, would look at herself in the mirror only to find an empty pair of eyes that she didn't even knew anymore. And while lying in bed the man sleeping next to her wasn't anymore the one she fell in love with, not so long ago.

They were teenagers when they met and fell for each other, her family wasn't happy about it, and they decided to marry so they couldn't even separate them. What a joke, they were just kids living a fantasy, and even if she doesn't call it a mistake, she falls sleep thinking about how her life would of turn out every single day.

How often someone stays in a marriage, because of the kids, because you want to love that person again, or simply because you are use to that person and dont want to lose  that. NEVER a good idea, You have to LOVE yourself first always, and a marriage that doesn't make you happy will not make you happy next year, specially if you are the only one doing the efforts and trying to make things better.

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