The black jew.

-He is a Jew

-No he is not,

-Yes he is he told me

-hell he also said he was black and I just see him "prieto"

-and he is 24

-nah have you seen him? At least 27.

I made a bet with Marie and Jerry, ask the trainer to go to the bathroom and instead looked for you.

-let me see your ID

-no

-c'mon I need to see it~made a pouty voice and face~

- I am 24 you don't need my ID

-YES! I do let me see it.

-what is on it for me?

- you will be making me happy?

- no really what's on it for me?

- I may do something you want that is not nasty?

- ok

he handed the ID in fact he is 24 years old, his last name "Cortez" sounds very Spanish I point and ask.

-didn't you say you were a "jew"

-YES I am

- your last name doesn't agree.

(After the world war 2 the Jews that came to Mexico as refugees took names that ended in es and change the end to ez first to disguise along Mexicans second to still be able to identify themselves with other family's" he explains.)

-ok I am not satisfied nor I believe you but I've got to go.

Back at training room I confirm he is 24 and Jew, I still have my doubts but as the good friend I am I accept it since now I have new ideas to "bully" him.

At lunch time I am just talking about the so many ways you are not a jew listing them as for the regular clitches.

-your nose is not big enough, don't have curly hair, your beard is short, you don't wear the tiny hat, you are poor as fuck, don't speak Hebrew, you are a God damn regular Mexican I say.

-it is because from my mother side we are descendant of black slaves.

- yup definitely average Mexican (being that Mexicans are mix of Spanish with the Indians that where here when they came)

-no I am black from the waist down. (You said winking)

-your away, you most have a tiny one.

The brunnete

I was taking calls as usually when I saw you standing next to me, with a blank face you didn't looked like crying but I felt you were about made a gesture of give me one minute, placed myself in after call and finished my call.

-what is wrong?

-my wife has "brown hair" 

-what! 

- yah, she uses dye but keeps coming back, the hair stylist says she might be brunnete for good

Logged out of the avaya and went to the living

-Kimmy knows? How long? Which type of brunette? Will you divorce after this? 

 I hugged you and asked what would you do I was almost speechless at this point. 

-I don't know I can't divorce her like this, would be humiliatingfor her, and she is the mother of my child!

-you can absolutely divorce her if that is what will make you happy, I know is easy to say, hard to hear and impossible to do, but is not good for her you or the kid to stay together if y'all don't love each other, just support her with her condition maybe look for another expert.

-yes I know but I don't know what to do all the women in my life, have bad shit happen to them. 

Your mom never lost the baby fat and your wife turned out to be brunette 

-could be worst, she could of turn out to be vegan or enjoy CrossFit.

Your laughter between tears and the worried face you had told me you needed  his and to not leave you alone.

The three of us left at 3 pm that day.

You guys were so amazed of the way I lied to my mother, and you yes you were shocked when I told my mother "yah his wife is brunette and he can't divorce her now. "

Her answer was same as mine.

-now I understand why you are the way you are.

You were a drunken virgin, and Kimmy and i could not leave you like that, not in a day like this!
Went to the store bought beer, i didn't drink, you both did,(today is the day day you swear, you weren't drunk, and i dont think it really matters). I am not sure who decided it was hungry, so you guys went to the store to buy bread while i cooked the hamburger. Apparently Kimmy forgot how to run, in the way back home, (i was just a bit tipsy she says)
-Lets see who get there first!
-No, Kimmy...
-OUCH!!



Yes she fell at the middle of the road, with NOTHING on her way that may have caused the fall, nothing to stubble upon, nothing to trip with. When Raed ran to help her get up, his ankle said "back off bastard" as he felt how it sprained. He limped for a month but AGAIN he wasn't drunk.

So much for nothing she left you that night.

Mrs Kirby.

The first day of training she looked at me roll her eyes and i knew it right there, we would be best friends or would hate each other. The day went by and she was annoying, seemed to be funny the day of the interviews talking to her friends, why was such a pain now?

I was happy next couple of days didn't saw her, then someone said she had an accident and i could only hope she was fine, but God it was so good being there without her attitude. She came back with a bolster, by then i had already figured i would not be friends with anybody in the room, wasn't that interested anyway.

Keryme started talking to me out of nothing, went and sit with me, grabbed my notebook and start drawing a tree, I was happy of somewhat having her in my corner at same time was thinking, "great she can draw too." Wasn't just good at all the things i thought i was good at, also in the ones i always wanted to be and never could. Being mean and rude, speaking her mind she had made maybe not friends but people liked her, all i did was be nice to everyone and they all hated me. This is everything is wrong in this world right here in this room i thought.

She would not stop talking to me, and i am way too nice to be rude at her so we spend allot of time together, honestly is the last thing i want but at same time, i hate being on my own so... She is not so bad, so i add her to Facebook, big mistake. It makes me think about the days when I use to play online and so many guys would look for my approval, again she is so much better than me at everything... One afternoon going through my wall, what is this? She posted a picture of random conversation with a guy offering to buy her a car, if she goes out with him, and it says "some people just try too hard" out of nothing it pisses me off, whether is true or not if you are having a conversation with someone, just dont go and post it where everyone will see it, what if did the same to you? Would you find it funny then?


There is times when as much as it annoys me can be funny, Ernesto has a thing for her and her Asian looking kid, she keeps saying "moshi moshi" and makes this silly face where she says it and sort of keeps air inside her mouth making her cheeks look like little balloons with her hands near her chin, it looks so cute when she does that, she reminds me of Kirby, we had to go for a break and i told her in the elevator she looked like Kirby and her new name would be Mses Kirby, she got angry at me because apparently she hates pink which she has say before in the room and she feels he is really fat, "too bad" i said i think he is cute and you look like it when doing that noise and making that face so i shall call you Mrs Kirby till i get tired of it "ok ma'am" touche bitch, game on i said to myself.

I think it is more than i need to say, that this wont be the only entry about the now so called "my best friend", it is a funny story too long to tell at once, so keep reading i promise she will make you fall for her, because as i tell everyone in our life, she has the sleeping beauty curse burden, with the irony she has insomnia.